Many women look forward to the joys of motherhood well before they have children. Of course, being a mother isn’t just rainbows and butterflies. It can also make even the most devoted mom want to pull her hair out–as some reveal on Twitter
But, that’s the duality of life – it’s a constant rollercoaster ride complete with laughter, tears, love, and heartache. No matter what motherhood brings, a mom sticks by her children for the whole journey. Even in the hard times, you can’t take life too seriously.
That’s why some moms have found it cathartic to joke about their parenting experiences on Twitter. Below, we’ll share some tweets from mothers who tell the raw, hysterical truth about motherhood.
15 Glimpses Into Motherhood You’ll Only Find on Twitter
1. At least the terrible two’s only last a couple of years! But during that time, it feels like an eternity.
Parenting WILL get easier, I promise. Unless you have a toddler. In that case, you're just screwed. Sorry about your luck.
— Christina Crawford (@Xtina_Crawford) April 9, 2021
Schedule activities around your child’s naps to survive this trying time in motherhood. That way, they won’t throw a tantrum in a grocery store because they feel tired or irritable. Also, please do your best to remain calm when they get upset. Talk them through situations that frustrate them and provide clear boundaries. You’ve got this!
2. Getting kids to eat fruits and vegetables is pretty tricky. We all know that, if given a choice, most children would happily eat pizza and tacos for the rest of their lives.
My daughter asked why she can’t eat tacos every day and honestly, I’d have an easier time explaining where babies come from.
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) April 6, 2021
Try to incorporate healthy foods into meals they already enjoy. For instance, serve tacos with more veggies or make a homemade pizza with simple ingredients.
3. But honestly, the advice above is easier said than done. Once kids try processed foods won’t feel as thrilled about more bland foods. Even adults have difficulty choosing an apple over a bag of chips!
At my daughter’s 4-year checkup, the doctor said she should be eating a varied diet and to make sure she’s eating a good amount from each food group and I think she said a bit about trying new foods but not sure cause I got distracted wondering if she’d ever actually met a 4yo.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) June 11, 2020
Motherhood involves compromise, so if you want your kids to eat healthier, serve them fruits and veggies first. Once they’ve finished, then they can have the “yummier” foods.
4. Kids have no filter and will do almost anything to get your attention. When you enter motherhood, you must prepare for the most embarrassing yet hilarious situations you can imagine.
Unless you are prepared for someone to yell "MOMMY, I HAVE A TAIL!" and then show you a sock wedged between their little buttcheeks, you are not ready for motherhood.
Heed my warning
— Anecdotal Birthcontrol (@AnecdtlBrthCtrl) June 27, 2020
5. Most moms know that it never seems to end once their kids start telling a story. But luckily, thinking burns about 320 calories a day, so listening to your child can make you healthier!
If listening to your kid tell a story burned calories, I’d be invisible.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) June 13, 2020
6. Motherhood provides plenty of reasons to cherish your children. But every mom still needs a break at some point!
Me to baby: Say Dada!
Husband: You don't want her first word to be Mama?
Me: Hell no! The other 2 won't leave me alone. This one's yours.
— Stephanie Jankowski (@CrazyExhaustion) March 24, 2015
7. Most parents know that too much screen time can negatively impact their children. But being locked inside during the pandemic didn’t provide many other options.
A pandemic is no excuse for excessive screen time. Study after study has shown that electronics are harmful to young minds. I’ve made the difficult decision to limit my children’s iPad use to no more than 14 hours a day and I hope you do the same.
— Bunmi Laditan (@HonestToddler) May 3, 2020
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends babies and toddlers 0-2 years old only use technology for video chatting. Children ages two to five should consume one hour or less of high-quality media daily.
Finally, older children and teenagers should have digital device limits of two hours or less daily. Most children greatly exceed this limit, but stricter rules and parental involvement can help curb their use.
8. Motherhood does seem like a never-ending rollercoaster ride sometimes. Even though raising kids can be exhausting, at least they keep life interesting!
Hi, i'm a mom. You might know me from some of my Greatest Hits like "I thought your game was cancelled", "please don't fart on your sister", "why are there dirty socks in the refrigerator" and "I've clearly failed as a mother, just wait until your father gets home"
— 🇺🇸E.🇺🇸 (@YourMomsucksTho) January 17, 2019
9. Every mother with multiple children knows this struggle. Even having one child is a handful!
Me: [struggling with 4 kids at grocery store]
Lady: you have your hands full
Me: the little one is great with cats
Me: you can take one
Lady: *nervous laugh*
Me: they love old people
Lady: *walking away*
Me: take one, please!
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) August 8, 2019
Most moms appreciate any moment of solitude they can get. Setting aside time for yourself each day is essential if you have children. Once you put the kids to bed, do something that relaxes you and puts your mind at ease. Perhaps that means taking a warm bath, reading a book, or listening to calming music. Everyone needs self-care, but motherhood demands it on a whole different level.
10. Anything that suddenly makes noise doesn’t bode well for a good night’s rest. Whoever invented the Furby, we’re looking at you here.
Happy Friday to everyone except the guy that invented toys that turn on in the middle of the night.
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) August 2, 2019
Toys that turn on by themselves wake up the whole household. As a parent, there’s nothing worse than attempting to put your children back to sleep at 3 AM.
11. As moms already know, motherhood involves ample patience and sacrifice. That includes eating a bagel with the best seasonings licked off, thanks to your kids.
one of my kids licked all the Everything off an Everything Bagel and stuck it back in the package and this is why parents can't ever have nice things
— Val (@ValeeGrrl) May 22, 2019
12. Moms go to extreme lengths to ensure their kids stay asleep the whole night. No one wants to go through the entire bedtime routine again in the middle of the night!
I had to cough but my kids were sleeping so I literally just choked on my own saliva because apparently I choose dying over accidentally waking them up.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) February 10, 2019
13. Parents take out their frustration in creative ways sometimes. But in this mom’s defense, stepping on a children’s toy is painful!
If you don’t kick your kid’s toy across the room after your trip on it, are you even a parent?
— 𝔻𝕒𝕚𝕤𝕖𝕕&𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕗𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕕🌻 (@ihoplollipop) March 11, 2019
14. Moms support one another however they can, especially if it means avoiding their child’s temper tantrums!
A mom just told her kids the park is closing so they would leave without throwing fits.
Another mom overheard and said, “Uh-oh, the park is closing! Gotta go!
So I said, “Everyone’s leaving! Let’s follow them out!”
We all winked at each other and got in our cars.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) March 11, 2019
Taking your kid to the park offers them an excellent opportunity to burn extra energy. When it’s time to leave, though, they usually put up a good fight. Try this strategy next time you see other moms around!
15. You haven’t truly experienced motherhood if you had no idea what you were doing and just decided to wing it.