Twins hear plenty of comments from the people around them, and identical twins have it even worse. Identical twins are asked the same questions and hear many repetitive phrases. While people don’t mean their comments negatively, it can be incredibly annoying.
You might think that you’re being funny by commenting on their relationship, but twins have likely heard it before. Everyone seems to believe they’re the first to come up with phrases for twins, but it’s not true. Twins have likely heard it all, and it becomes more of a nuisance than anything else.
There are many perks to being a twin, but it also has drawbacks. These phrases identical twins never want to hear are one of the drawbacks. Look for something else to say or avoid referring to their sibling relationship altogether.
Twelve Phrases Identical Twins Never Want to Hear
1. Are identical twins telepathically connected?
Twins share a special connection, and people falsely assume it means they can read each other’s minds. While they might think they know, there’s no way to know for sure what their twin is thinking. Twin relationships don’t come with supernatural qualities, so it’s an annoying question for twins.
If it ever seems like identical twins can read each other’s minds, it’s just a coincidence. They know each other well, so it’s easy for them to try and guess about each other. Plus, they have similar thought patterns due to spending so much time together.
2. Which twin are you?
Asking a twin which one they are is rude and offensive. It implies they aren’t an individual, and it shows that you don’t care enough to try and figure it out. While they’re often together, they still need a sense of individuality.
If you guess which twin you’re speaking to, they likely won’t get mad if you’re wrong. Instead, they’ll appreciate the effort rather than feel like it isn’t significant enough for you to think about. It’s more about how you approach the conversation rather than the topic.
3. Which twin is the smart one?
Twins have noticeably different qualities, but asking hurtful questions like this is never a good idea. Plus, comparing the two people is frustrating and detrimental to their well-being.
Asking questions like this one is a bad idea for a few reasons. First, it can hurt the person you’re speaking to if you imply that they aren’t smart. Plus, it can make them angry if they feel like you’re bad-mouthing their twin.
4. Does your twin feel it if you get hurt?
People love the idea that twins can physically feel what the other person is feeling. Some people even take it further by trying to inflict slight pain through pinching or something similar. The question is bad enough on its own, but adding in physical contact is the worst.
Some twins say they experience sensations when their twin goes through sometimes, but it’s not proven. Most twins say that a metaphysical phenomenon is not present and find the conversation irritating. Rest assured, if a twin experiences this, they’ll let you know if they want to.
5. Do you identical twins do everything together?
You’re likely to frequently see twins together, especially when they’re still children. However, they each have their own lives, and you shouldn’t assume they do everything together.
This phrase is another way of diminishing their individuality. Twins have their interests and enjoy doing things without the other person by their side. Each sibling will likely choose their path as they get older.
6. I like you better than your sibling.
This phrase makes twins uncomfortable, even if you mean it as a compliment to the one you’re talking to. Twins don’t like being compared to one another, and it’s hurtful no matter how it goes.
Plus, saying that you like one better than the other puts the twin, you’re talking to in an uncomfortable position. They don’t want to hear anyone saying negative things about their twin, even if it comes in the form of a compliment to them. Twins have often spent more time together than anyone else, and they share a deep bond.
If you have negative thoughts about one twin, keep it to yourself rather than saying something like this comment. They want appreciation as an individual, not when compared to someone else.
7. Is it fun being a twin?
Asking if it’s fun to be a twin or what it’s like to be a twin can be annoying. It’s a question twins hear often, and it can be tricky to answer. Twins don’t know what it’s like not to be a twin, so it’s hard to explain how their life is any different than yours.
Without a basis for comparison, twins dread being asked about what it’s like to be a twin. They’ll likely come up with a vague answer, so don’t be offended if this has happened to you. Next time, avoid this type of phrase.
8. Your twin is shorter.
Twins don’t like hearing about physical differences between the two of them. They already know the differences, and it only makes them feel scrutinized. Even identical twins can have slight differences in their physical appearance, so don’t stare too hard trying to figure it out.
Things like height and weight can be affected by DNA and lifestyle factors, so twins’ appearances are likely to differ. Levels of nutrition, sleep patterns, and physical activity level can influence physical appearance. Anytime you compare the twins, it diminishes their sense of individuality and can cause body issues.
9. You two must be identical twins.
This phrase seems harmless, but it can quickly get old. Twins don’t want to go through life hearing this comment everywhere they go. Again, it’s about individuality and repetitive comments or conversation.
Pointing out or asking if two people are twins also makes people feel scrutinized. It’s even worse if you then point out why you think they’re twins. In this instance, it’s best to keep the thoughts to yourself and avoid staring.
10. You’re pretty much the same person.
Twins are sure to have many similarities, but they’re still different people. While twin relationships typically involve being close, their personalities, hobbies, style, experiences, and dreams will differ. Saying that they’re the same person implies that you don’t recognize their individuality.
11. Who is the older twin?
Some twins like to brag about who is older, but it unnecessarily categorizes them. Even if you hear one of the twins mention it, they still won’t enjoy hearing it from someone else. It’s one of those things that the two involved can joke about, but no one else should.
On the other hand, some twins don’t like to talk about it. Play it safe altogether and avoid using this phrase that twins don’t want to hear.
12. I wish I were a twin.
Twins don’t know what it’s like not to be a twin, and you don’t know what it’s like to be a twin. Being a twin is a complex situation, and they might not like this statement. It’s frustrating when someone assumes they know what your situation is like. Plus, saying you wish you are a twin implies that the other person has it easy, a potentially offensive statement.
Other Things to Consider About Identical Twins
These phrases and questions aren’t the only things to consider when talking to twins. It goes beyond simple statements or questions, so make sure you’re ready.
The Things You Don’t Say Are Important.
It might not go over well when you tell one twin something but not the other. You can’t just assume that telling one means, they’ll both know. It’s a sign of respect to reach out and tell both identical twins individually.
Don’t Purposefully Call Identical Twins by the Wrong Name.
Sometimes people don’t even try to figure out which twin is which. Other times, they call a twin by their sibling’s name on purpose, assuming it’s funny. However, twins don’t think it’s humorous because it feels a little disrespectful.
Even if the twin doesn’t correct you when you call them the wrong name, it’ll likely be annoying to them. Some people will correct you, and they might not always be nice about it.